Is time really important in who we are? Or is it a sum total of past, present and future? Is it worth wading through crap to keep something you know you already have?
Most that know me personally know that when my mother past a few years ago, she left myself and my family without any physical belongings…on purpose. She was mentally ill through chemotherapy drugs and others influencing her to do so. After 40 years, she changed her Will to have her sister and brother-in-law be in charge of the sale of all my family’s belongings...an action my father’s family would have killed her for since most, if not all, was their family history…not hers. Yes, my parents accumulated items through the years, but that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking family history, and items that were handed down to my father for his grandchildren and so on.
The truth be told, the mother that I knew was a vindictive and jealous soul. Unfortunately that’s the truth. No way getting around that one. She was jealous and angry at my father’s side of the family for as long as I can remember. So, she decided to get back at my father’s side of the family, and her own children & grandchildren, by disposing of all family history via her new Will. My Aunt and Uncle walked her in to a mediocre lawyer‘s office where her new Will was drawn up…under the influence of chemo drugs and drugs for pain. Yep, she had the law on her side, but the lawyer's ethics stink. I have been around lawyers and Judges for the past 30 years, good and bad… and she stinks. So, why didn’t I fight?… keep reading.
My family is dysfunctional… we just don’t get along. The logistics of courts suits, costs, fees & traveling wasn’t worth it to me. I knew what was going on and I let it happen. I knew the next three moves before my Aunt and Uncle or anyone did. One day, I was sitting around thinking about what actually my mother was thinking. If I could answer that question, then maybe it would all make more sense to me. Then it came to me: She was thinking: “I can still control everyone if I demand everything be sold… then I know the kids will fight over it… spending all their money… then they won’t have one single dollar to live their lives” . Yep... that's the truth...once I realized this, I knew I had the upper hand for my life. So I threw my cards in and sat back and watched it play out.
In the midst of all this, Aunt & Uncle scheduled a couple of family gatherings at a hotel conference room & storage unit for us to gather. These places had the items that the auctioneer wouldn’t take. We were allowed to pick items… one by one… until all the items were gone.
Disgusting isn’t it? I will answer it this way:
Yes... is simple... you can figure that one out.
No… because, I was lucky enough to receive some of the documents and letters and photos of my father’s side of the family. The other good thing about it is, one of my other brothers, whom I am very close to, picked corresponding documents. That made it all good.
So, with all this being said, still, why am I writing this?
During the last couple of years I have been slowly going through items, tossing most, keeping some.
Filling in the blanks hasn't been easy, but with the clues that were left for me I have a lot of questions answered. However, the need to have more questions answered was obsessive. So I decided to take it on the road and see what I could find out... to try and answer those questions and fill in the blanks.
In the next couple of blog posts, I will be posting bits and pieces of my ride through the Gold Country of California where my Great Great Great Grandparents Chamberlain came to live and raise their family.
Welcome to my “Heritage” Ride.
Happy Heritage Trailzzzzz
KaTy Did
7 comments:
I know what the dysfunctional family is like. The ruination of ours was done by the 3rd sister-in-law, who produced a Jekyll-to-Hyde transformation in my brother, which turned him against our mother, and now the family- what's left- is split.
This is not my blog so I'll censor myself- eff the lot of 'em. Life is short- be happy.
Hope you find what you're looking for. Happy trailzzz my friend.
Do hope you find what your looking for. Your mother died a bitter person. So sad. But do remember Dear to keep a positive look out. Life is good. My dad was the bitter one. Yesterday was not good. I just strive to be a better man than him.
Do hope you find what your looking for. Your mother died a bitter person. So sad. But do remember Dear to keep a positive look out. Life is good. My dad was the bitter one. Yesterday was not good. I just strive to be a better man than him.
Hey...thanks for this. Really. When I saw my mother's family go at it after my grandparents moved on, it totally disgusted me.
It changed my life. Stuff is just stuff. All of this is going to leave one way or another. It ain't nothing. You chose a path which speaks volumes about you. I have much more respect for you. If you let this "shit" that we surround ourselves with get in the way of those who you are suppose to love, then you might as well pack it in right now because you are a worthless human being in my skewed perspective. If you don't have the vision to see past your own life, then I have no use for you.
Man...I could go off on this! But I'm not. What I will say is the truth shall set you free...and free you are. You truly have vision beyond the average joe. Good for you, good for you. You are who you are because of your experiences...you might have been someone different if things didn't happen the way they did. It all happens for a reason, and now it's all clear isn't it.
The more I learn about you, the more I'm impressed. I hope you have an enjoyable and productive trip.
-Peace
Thanks all for your comments. Unfortunately some families will always be this way and I can only speak for my life. I have one more post to go on this great ride. It was such a great opportunity to see where my Father's family lived and breathed in at one time.
An FYI Note: I have had an "anonymous" comment that, of course, I won't post. I expected it when I wrote these posts. Seems somes peeps can't take their minds off of me with respect to this family.
Anyway, I was informed by this "anonymous" thing you would be receiving some comments too. Seems like this person is not happy with their own life and has to try and be an evil spirit instead.
I will leave it up to you to do with them as you please.
Yes, I do know who they are and I have reported it as spam and malicous, and if you need any help with names, etc., you can private e-mail me.
I will continue to tell my stories here and if I piss people off... well, tough. Their "anonymous comment" proved to me even more, why I rode this ride, and now I am more happier than ever to know I have made the right decision to keep them completely out of my life, for the rest of my life. That's just the way I roll these days, and I like it.
Note To Anonymous: Blessings to you for making me realize this even more.
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